caring.20 - labels

you’re not allowed to be angry.

i repeat: you are not allowed to be angry.

about anything.

you’re muslim. you’re middle eastern.

you make people nervous when you’re angry. (is he going to blow something up?)

you make people nervous when you’re not angry. (is he hiding something from us? i wonder what he really thinks.)

there are certain things you cannot talk about.

talk about them, and you will draw attention to yourself.

draw attention to yourself, and potential employers will consider you a liability, admissions committees will dismiss you, society will reject you, america will consider you a threat to national security.

no one will want you. do you hear me? no one. 

you could be quiet as a pebble worn smooth at the bottom of a river — america will always consider you a threat to national security.

no one will ever want you.

say one thing about anything that makes you angry and everyone will think it is the only thing worthy of knowing about you.

you will be reduced to your anger. nothing else matters.

you will never make it if you speak up. you will never be successful.

to avoid this, you must always speak about peace and love. preferably, you will forget about your history in the process. you will speak the language of conquerors and colonialists. 

preferably, you will hate yourself. no — inevitably, you will hate yourself, whether you know it or not. you will either live through daily psychological torture or you will live in ignorance.

study hard, work hard — become successful with little noise. make enough money to live a quiet life with your family. what else do you want? 

this is the way it is; live with it.

die with it.

——

forgive me for disobeying.